Our Lord tells us, in no uncertain
terms, that in order to follow Him, we must take up our
cross. The logical extension of this means, in fact, that
people who don’t have crosses, (or who flee from them),
aren’t following Jesus. Such is the fallacy of the "health
and wealth" gospel.
It is in this context that each of
us must be made aware of the paramount necessity and
importance of carrying a cross. For many of us, that cross
is concupiscence of the flesh.
Our reaction? Instinct will tell us
to run from the cross, away from the pain, away from the
suffering and self-denial. The intellect, however, led by
the Holy Spirit, communicates the opposite.
We often ask God to heal us by
taking our cross away from us. We don’t want it. We tell Him
what good children and citizens we would be, and how sinless
we would be without it. Yet, observe how rarely He complies
with this request. Quite the contrary, He oftentimes makes
our crosses even heavier!
Know that this isn’t the action of
a sadistic God. Rather, He is pushing us ever forward to our
encounter with Him on Calvary, to that moment when we
realize where we are, who and what pathetic creatures we
truly are, and can say with all surety, "I have met God in
my sin, and He has healed me."
The Cross becomes our encounter
with Jesus – "I did not come for the righteous but for
sinners."
Just as our Blessed Mother
encountered her wounded and bloodied Son on the road to
Calvary, we must experience that same painful and
humiliating confrontation. It is painful in that, as a
necessary component of our healing, we must be transformed
to look like our Savior, accepting our just punishment on
account of our sins. We feel humiliation before our loving
God because it is OUR sins that are the source of His
innumerable, deep, painful and bloody wounds.
Our challenge, then, becomes one of
changing our attitudes in how we view our particular
affliction, in how we deal with and bear our crosses daily.
In short, we must embrace our cross
– our addiction, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day,
and not shirking this grave responsibility even for a
moment.
Whatever we do, we must continue to
hang on, clinging to the wood even if we, in emulation of
our Savior, end up face down in the dirt time and again.
As a key and critical component of
our physical and spiritual healing, meditation upon Sacred
Scripture is of the most vital importance. In this
particular instance, Psalm 119 is singularly
applicable as it possesses an abundance of spiritual insight
and guidance for the sinner, for the addict and their
relationship to God.
"I lie
prostrate in the dust; give me life in accordance with your
word.
I disclosed my
ways and you answered me; teach me your laws.
Make me
understand the way of your precepts; I will ponder your
wondrous deeds.
I weep in
bitter pain; in accord with your word to strengthen me.
Lead me from
the way of deceit; favor me with your teaching."
This particular psalm helps us to think pure thoughts and
live them. Its passages
are such that each of us need spend several days, weeks and
months meditating upon and still refer back to often,
because it is a prayer each of us, grappling with this
addiction, really needs.
"Avert my
eyes from what is worthless; by your way give me life."
"I
entreat you with all my heart: have mercy on me in
accordance with your promise."
Within this psalm, one can hear echoes of the plea of the
afflicted. Falling back on his or her innate trust in God’s
mercy and love, it becomes an ongoing prayer reverberating
between God and sinner, between His infinite Mercy and our
own suffering and afflicted soul.
"Before, I was afflicted, I went
astray, but now I hold to your promise."
"It was good for me to be afflicted,
in order to learn your laws."
"I know, Lord, that your edicts are
just; though you afflict me, you are faithful."
Taking that first step, as part of our personal efforts
toward conversion and healing, we struggle to pick ourselves
up out of the muck and mire, dust ourselves off, accepting
the cross which God, in His infinite wisdom has chosen for
each of us, and resolve to carry this cross as long as He
desires, however He desires, because He desires it, knowing
and understanding that it is for our own good.
"Thus I follow all your precepts;
every wrong way I hate."
"Look at my affliction and rescue
me, for I have not forgotten your teaching.
Take up my cause and redeem me; for
the sake of your promise give me life."
Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, (Edith Stein), sums
up perfectly the remedy that stands before each of us - "Ave
Crux, Spes unica – Hail the Cross, our only
hope."
