Q: If we confess, will our mortal sin be forgiven? I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation for many years and only today I have realized the severity of the situation in relation to Christianity! I have wanted to stop for a while, and finding this out makes me want to try that much harder to. So if I go to confession - will I be forgiven for the many years of sin? If not, are there any other methods to cleanse me?
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Q: Sometimes I commit a sin early in the week and I cannot make my confession until Saturday or Sunday. Even though I am sorry, if died before confession would I go to hell?
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Q: I was gang raped. I choose to let them rape me and survive rather than resist and die, Does that make me sinful?
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Q: How does one deal successfully in overcoming constant attacks of lust?
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Q: I want to remain pure so much. I am Catholic and do utilize the Sacrament of Reconciliation frequently to help me. What do you suggest for when the desire and temptation seem to overwhelm and I can't pray it away?
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Q: I am a single 23-year-old woman and I have lost all faith in marriage due to pornography. Only Jesus himself would be able to unconditionally forgive this generation of men in denial. How can I stop scowling at and stereotyping men?
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Q: Is it OK to use medication as an aid in overcoming sexual addiction?
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Q:
Are the
psychologists wrong? Is sexual repression actually good for you?
John
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Q:
I am 16
years old, a high school junior and I have been struggling with porn for the
past one year. I really want to quit.
My question is, how do I know if God is listening to my prayers. I have been
praying for the past year to God to help me avoid this on the internet, but
I always think about it and I end up watching it. I don't want God to
think I'm a bad boy and I know he is punishing me for watching all these.
I want to confess but I am afraid. if there is any other way, please help
me.
thanks,
Ed
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Q: How are these women able to show off their bodies in such explicit manner and able to put up a normal face in public? And where is their abode? Are they not having sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers...? What would be their family life? How come they are able to cut the ice for their first exposure? Are they on drugs? If they are on drugs are they not aware of what they do? Do they have guilt feelings after they get ‘spent’ sexually? Would it not be better to deal with these elements rather than the disease, echoing the maxim ‘Prevention is better than Cure?'
Milton
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Q:
I will continue to struggle against this wicked Titan. I believe that God
will continue to offer me grace to fight against this addiction. It is my
hope that by his grace I will remain in freedom from this day forward. But
it saddens me greatly that so many are afflicted, so many are angry, so many
deny that there is any sin here to speak of.
I made a promise of chastity in 1995, after previously being guilty of
fornication, pornography and masturbation. I continued to struggle on
occasion with pornography and self abuse, but two years ago I began dating a
young catholic woman who did not share my beliefs in agreement with the
churches teaching, and my resistance to sexual sin all but disappeared. We
were very bad for each other's sense of self worth, and even though the
relationship has essentially been over for more than six months, my desire
to be with her remains and is a stumbling block leading to further
commission of self abuse.
I am so torn-- because I recognize the goodness of the conjugative nature of
my sexuality that is to be reserved for marriage, but she has made it clear
that she has no intention of accepting the procreative part...and in my mind
the worse of the two evils is the isolation and brokenness that comes with
indulgence in masturbation and pornography. I know the best solution is to
let go of her and keep myself far from the path that leads to sexual sin of
any kind; but as I said at the beginning...I will continue to struggle
against this wicked Titan.
Prayers for all of you willing to write in this forum. Those who
acknowledge their brokenness, and especially for those who deny it.
Michael
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Q: Dear Friend in Christ,
I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. My husband and I are faithful Catholics. We have 6 children and are expecting our 7th.
We firmly believe in being open to life with every act of intercourse. We enjoy expressing our love physically with a lot of foreplay but always with normal, vaginal intercourse at the completion. My question is this, is there any sin in all of this foreplay, or is this just a hang-up left over from before we were married?
Sincerely,
Lisa
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Q:
Dear
friend in Christ,
My question is this: During the Sacrament of Penance I confess the number of
sins of viewing obscene materials or masturbation but I do not specify this
more. The specification could be that my desires are disorderly directed to
"romantic bondage" fantasies or images and self-bondage. I thought that
confessing the sin in generic terms is better - one should not try to
describe all the sad and "dirty" details.
However, recently, I have realized that maybe as a sort of perversion I
should confess these aggravating circumstance as well. What do you think?
I've been struggling with addiction to pornography since childhood. By grace
of God and regular confession, I am living a life with more chastity,
although I still fail - especially in situations of "opportunity".
I pray to God and to Our Lady for the miracle, for the permanent gift of
chastity. I love Jesus above all and my deepest desire is to serve Him
completely, with
undivided heart, to live in holiness. There is no greater tragedy in life
than not to become holy. My failures are my worst suffering in life.
Thank you for your mission, I offer today's fast for you,
God bless you,
Paul J.
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Q: Do you know where I can find any Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) meetings in my area? I looked on the www.sa.org site and I could not find anything. Also would you know of any other Catholic/ Christian/ or Secular Agency that I could approach for direct personal or group (12 step) counseling in addition to the spiritual counseling that I am receiving from my Spiritual Director/Parish Priest?
- Colin
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Q: A man needs relief, otherwise he cannot hold it. It is humanly impossible not to get release, as you will need to ejaculate frequently. I thought it is ok to have sex for pleasure as long as you do not use contraceptives?
Regards,
- Joe
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Q: I am a "cradle" Catholic engaged to be married to a man that was baptized in the Catholic Church but whose parents' divorced and the children lived with his mother. She stopped going to church and remarried a man that is Methodist. My fiancé took RCIA classes and was confirmed into the Church three years ago. He is trying very hard to be a good Catholic and has told me several times that he admires my faith, morals and values.
Well last year I found out that he had went on the Ebay site and bid on some pictures of nude women. He enjoys photography as a hobby and has collected dozens of vintage photographs over the years. I have seen them and none of them had been nudes. The pictures he purchased on Ebay were not, in my opinion, vintage as they were taken in the 70's and 80's. They were to me very provocative and the only way I can describe them is they look like Playboy centerfold pictures.
How I found out about the pictures was that his brother was visiting my fiancé when I was there and he asked my fiancé if he bid on more pics..that's the only way I would have found out as he wasn't going to tell me.
I became very upset and we got into a rather heated discussion. My fiancé insisted that they are not pornographic and he wasn't collecting them for that reason. I said that if he didn't think there was anything wrong with them then why didn't he tell me? He said he knew I wouldn't approve and that I would be upset.
Well a few months ago I told him that I couldn't marry someone who did not share my viewpoint on morals and that no matter what he said that those pictures are pornographic. He threw them away because he said that nothing is more important than I am but he said he still will not admit to viewing pictures of nude women as being pornographic.
I really would like to know the Church's viewpoint on what constitutes pornography. If they aren't considered as such isn't it still a sin against chastity?
It really upsets and hurts me that my fiancé would want to view pictures of nude women.
Your input would be very much appreciated.
Thank you. - S
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Q: I'm confused when, on your first page, you quote our
Blessed Mother to Jacinta at Fatima in 1920, saying that there are more
souls in hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.
Our Blessed Mother appeared at Fatima only in 1917, to my knowledge, ending
in October of that year. When you use such quotations, they can be
devastatingly negative in their impact if you enter the quotation or date
incorrectly, making one wonder about its veracity. Are you sure you
have this correct? It would be like telling an alcoholic the same thing
about sins related to alcoholism, only to have him discover later that the
quotation is bogus or inaccurate. You wouldn't accomplish much good
with him.
Tom
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Q: Would you know how to stop pop up porn~ it is very gross~~ and I’m only 14!! Please help!!
Stephanie
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Q: You all have no
right to say that someone else is going to hell just because of
releasing natural feelings. I don't know if there is an afterlife or
not, and neither does anyone else. not for sure. you can BELIEVE,
sure, but you don't know for certain. you only know what you've been
told, what you feel and what's been passed down through the ages. I
know that I fully intend to make my life as I know it as enjoyable as
possible while I'm here. masturbation in itself does not equal
addiction. its ridiculous to suggest such. humans are just smarter
animals than most, and those sexual urges are in EVERY species. if
there's any sort of god, and any sort of Christ, he's got no right to
tell me that I should SUFFER for him! what absolute bull. oh, and
don't bother throwing catechism and bible quotes at me -- I don't
believe in them.
This site is disgusting. and very scary.
see you in hell,
Hannah.
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Q:
Ok, I have read
almost all the Q&A's posted. However, my wife refuses to think beyond her
own needs sexually. Which in many, many cases leads men whom do not want to
cheat to use the Internet and pornography as a release. One could call this
cheating. Whatever. However as a man how are we to make this situation
better? Why must we feel the need to beg for intimacy with our spouse? I
read many books, tried many things. Had many conversations with her and feel
that I have changed many things about my self to meet hear needs. We have
also went to counseling. Many of these things a man would even consider
doing. You cannot say that this is a man’s fault. If the tables where turned
it would be a much different story being told..
A very frustrated man
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Q: Have you read the Bible properly? I understand about your pornography view (and homosexuality) BUT when you mention about MASTURBATION is a sin itself, I am not sure that it is, considering it is VAGUELY mentioned in the Bible ! It does NOT clearly state that Masturbation is a sin itself! It DOES state however, that lusting after your neighbour's wife is a sin...(impure thoughts) And you know what? I truly think (and know) masturbation is an acceptable way of coping if you are under the circumstances of being alone (single) and that it is only done to relieve oneself from bodily eruption and is a preventative measure of keeping oneself from actually fornicating out of marriage and if it's not overdone( abused) and mingled with good intentions (thoughts) only. Humans need love they are human, not perfect. And God knows this! (And I’m sure he doesn't expect us to be) I am sorry but I don't buy into YOUR interpretation of the Bible on Masturbation, ALTHOUGH the part of pornography & lusty unclean thoughts practiced in an addictive manner is absolutely unhealthy, you have to admit that there is some exceptions in God's loving eyes... Let God be the judge. He will judge each one of us accordingly, He can read our hearts! Praise God! Amen. - Ann
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Q:
I am going on 32 and have been addicted to porn since I was about 10. I am
married and have 4 children. I love my wife and children deeply but most
importantly I love Jesus Christ. I have had success and failure battling
this addiction. I frequent the Sacraments, pray the Rosary, and try to live
the Gospel daily. I do have hope that one day I will no longer sin in this
way. I do have a few questions though...
Do you think I should not receive communion until I get to confession after
committing the sin of masturbation to pornography? I have gone back and
forth in my thinking on this. I used to abandon all prayer when I committed
these sins but now I continue to pray even after I have fallen. I do however
feel guilty going to mass with these sins on my soul. Sometimes I think that
the addictive, compulsive nature of these offenses negates the full consent
factor of a mortal sin. Can you help me with this? Of course, I always try
to get to confession ASAP but sometimes I have to go to Mass before I get to
confession.
Last question: About 18 months ago I confessed to my wife that I have this addiction. It was incredibly helpful to me but it deeply hurt her. I was able to live for about six months without falling back into this addiction. But since then I have committed the sin many times. I have not told my wife this and she occasionally asks me about it but I tell her that I have remained free from it. My question is, should I tell her the truth? It would crush her but I feel guilty lying to her. Thanks - M
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Q:
Because I have access to my husband's email, I
know that he receives pornographic pictures from an acquaintance on a
regular basis. Sometimes he forwards some of the "milder" ones to a friend.
This saddens and disgusts me. Because he does not know that I can see his
email, I don't know how to bring it up.
Also, is it terrible for me to view his email? It happened by accident, but
now that I know what he is doing I feel the need to check all the time.
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Q: Is cross dressing a sin and should it be brought to the confessional?
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Q: We are helpless :(
It's an interesting page but let's not cheat ourselves - if someone is REALLY addicted to pornography ( like me for example ) then nothing will help him - I know because I tried to free myself from it many times. But it's always good to keep trying.
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Q: What are the Church's teachings about pornography? Can it be considered mortal sin when merely viewed??
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Q: I have recently found that my husband is probably addicted to internet pornography. He does not know that I know. Is this something I should try to lovingly confront him about? Or is it something that I should only continue to pray about?
I did not mean to invade his privacy, but I recently switched to another internet browser, and this browser keeps a history log that is always available. When I looked at it to find a site I had been to, the log showed all the sites he had visited also, even on another ISP.
This answers many of the disconnects I have always sensed in our relationship. I felt something wrong, but never knew what; and it answers many questions I have had and kept to myself.
What should I do or not do at this point?
Thank you,
Rachel
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Q: I am a sex addict. It took me time to realize that I have all of the symptoms and all of the emptiness and anger at the core of any addict. I don't enjoy my addiction and would truly like to have peace in my life.
My problem is that I seem to be that when I break out of the cycle of acting out sexually, I act out with abusive words towards the people that I love the most. Its almost as if I have turrets syndrome of the voice box. I will say something hurtful and then regret it immediately.
I'm clever and know exactly which words will hurt the most. In the end I hurt myself more than anyone because I hurt people I truly care about and they have to leave eventually to protect themselves.
I attend mass regularly, I receive the sacraments and always have. Why am like this? I hate it. I'm in a relationship now, but have hurt my fiancé with words several times in the past month. I truly wonder if I'm possessed sometimes. I have been through the therapy thing for years, but I still blurt out these mean things. When I don't do this, I am a good decent guy. I like an awful lot of things about myself, but I hate this, and it continues to drive me to loneliness and despair, because I'm hurting the people that I love. In time I will be all alone.
What can I do? - Tom
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Q: You, not me, have serious mental problems.. We are in 2000 and still you believe in those bullshit.. I believe in God, but why should he cares about masturbation or pornography??? Its our business! Why should he be offensed by my behaviour?
- Daniele
Q: Dear Paul,
I appreciate all that you are doing.
I am 26 and have been stuck in the cycle of self gratification for as long as I can remember. I truly desire to be pure of heart, but I somehow keep giving into lust. I have resolved to stay close to the sacraments and prayer (although there is still plenty of room for improvement).
I am entertaining the idea of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), but I am a little concerned about what to expect, or for that matter if it is God's will for me to be part of SA; possibly there would be a better means of getting help. I say this because although I am sure many Catholics and non-Catholic Christians attend SA meetings, the program is not fundamentally Catholic (or Christian for that matter).
Could you explain the Churches position on SA, and a heads-up of what to expect? I am guessing you are Catholic, I apologize if I am incorrect.
God Bless,
- EP
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Q: I wish I had a way to keep from
getting porn spam.......Lord have mercy on me. There ought to be an
e-mail requirement to establish categories for
e-mail......adult/pg/etc. so I could screen them out automatically.
- G
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Q: I have struggled with an addiction to pornography since I was a teenager, I am 38 years old. Although I don't know from personal experience, I can just imagine how horrible other addictions (drugs, gambling, alcohol, etc) must be! A few years ago, with the explosion of the Internet, my addiction took a new level. I don't think it was that I was more addicted, I guess it was so easily available. I have gone through the entire cycle of denial, guilt, fear. I have done what most people probably do, go to confession and really try to change my ways, then I fall into the same trap. After doing it once, it almost seems like "it doesn't matter" anymore, and I might as well continue, since I have already "failed". I KNOW that this is the wrong attitude to take, I am simply stating how I feel sometimes. Over the last couple of years, I have started to see through the "clouds" and started to realize that I don't have that power. I have started to accept that only through God's grace and with his help and mercy will I ever be able to beat this thing. Every time I end up in confession, I keep praying and hoping that it will be the last time, I get a "boost" of confidence, but then I find myself failing and feel completely worthless and discouraged. I know these feelings are Satan's way of keeping me in sin and away from a state of grace, I just don't know how to break that cycle! Any prayers and words of advice would be greatly appreciated!
- F
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Q: Please pray for me - first it is just laziness at work so I start roaming the web - then one things leads to another and I start looking at pornography which then hooks me every time.
Would be happy to hear any suggestions.
Thanks for your prayers - I will be praying to for all people who are caught in this insidious web.
- D
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Q: Are there any online groups for Catholic spouses of sex addicts?
- K
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Q: What can I do to help my boyfriend see that pornography is ruining our relationship? I've tried talking to him...letting him know how much it hurts me and how I think it's affecting our relationship. But yet, he continues to look up sites, download pics and video clips while we don't have a 'normal' sex life. Actually, barely a sex life at all. - K
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Q: I have been in an ongoing struggle with pornography and masturbation. Sometimes I can a long time without looking at pornographic material and other times it seems like everyday. This has been an issue in my life for several years now so I just ask that you would pray for me and give me any advice that you could spare. Thank you so much and God bless you. - W
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Q: My husband disclosed his problem of his sexual addiction a week ago. Since then I have tried to study up and find out what his problem exactly is and where do we go from here. It is all very painful to me. I found your website porn no more, which by the way is excellent. My question is now, can I send this information to my husband?
many thanks. - M
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