November - 05
Q: I am a single 23-year-old woman and I have lost all faith in marriage due to pornography.  Only Jesus himself would be able to unconditionally forgive this generation of men in denial.  How can I stop scowling at and stereotyping men?  How can I learn to pray for porn-addicted men who sexually threaten women who walk down streets alone instead of carrying a gun?  What will happen to the institution of marriage for my generation of women who don't need men to support them and have been conditioned not to love for fear of man's "biology?"

Thanks, Laurel

A:  Dear Laurel,

First of all, please know we will be praying for the grace from God for your healing, as we pray for the healing of all victims of pornography, those who are addicted and those who are affected by those who are addicted.  It is easy to be hurt and angry by this insidious disease, oh so easy, since the evil one work so hard at planting the seeds of hate and anger in mankind’s heart.  I am the wife of a pornography addict. He is a wonderful man and a wonderful father.  He came to me years after we were married and finally confessed he was an addict and what that meant.  It left me reeling. 

Did I consider leaving him? NO.  Did I consider what it took for him to come to me?  Did I consider what it took for him to beg me to start this ministry and help him in it?  Did I consider what it took for him to go to our parish priest and ask to speak to all masses about pornography addiction – standing on the alter pronouncing to all people at our parish at all masses he was a pornography addict?  Was I there with him as he handed out cards to the Serenellians and the porn-no-more web site and looking at the same people who were just told what he was and trying to talk to them to work on this problem that has worked its way into all households through television, books, news, stores and all aspects of life? YES. Did they judge him as you judge all men?  Probably. Is it difficult to have this ministry a part of my family’s life? Yes.  Addicted to pornography or not there are still good men, who have Our Lord and Our God in their hearts – as well as many women!!

I pray you have read the prayers on the prayer wall.  My heart aches and breaks for those who write to us, leaving me in tears more often than you could imagine.  How could I condemn them?  Am I so good that I can judge them and look down on them? NO.

Good men, Good women are addicted to porn.  It is sad, it is heartbreaking; it is an insidious trap of the evil one.  So is judgment.   How can you have faith in marriage? – invite God into your marriage! 

How can you forgive? 

Go to a crucifix.  Kneel down.  Look at the face of Jesus Christ on the cross.  Stare into Our Lord’s face – stare long and hard.  He will lift His face to you and say one word – FORGIVE!!   Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.  Just as your sins put Our Lord on that cross.

Learn what Our Lord came down to this earth to take our hands and walk us through each step and suffered His passion and died for!! LOVE.   Pray for them.  Pray for us all!!

Fraternally in Christ,

Jenny Rasavage  (Paul's Wife)
for the Serenellians
and www.PornNoMore.com