September - 04
Q:  I will continue to struggle against this wicked Titan. I believe that God will continue to offer me grace to fight against this addiction. It is my hope that by his grace I will remain in freedom from this day forward. But it saddens me greatly that so many are afflicted, so many are angry, so many deny that there is any sin here to speak of.

I made a promise of chastity in 1995, after previously being guilty of fornication, pornography and masturbation. I continued to struggle on occasion with pornography and self abuse, but two years ago I began dating a young catholic woman who did not share my beliefs in agreement with the churches teaching, and my resistance to sexual sin all but disappeared. We were very bad for each other's sense of self worth, and even though the relationship has essentially been over for more than six months, my desire to be with her remains and is a stumbling block leading to further commission of self abuse.

I am so torn-- because I recognize the goodness of the conjugative nature of my sexuality that is to be reserved for marriage, but she has made it clear that she has no intention of accepting the procreative part...and in my mind the worse of the two evils is the isolation and brokenness that comes with indulgence in masturbation and pornography. I know the best solution is to let go of her and keep myself far from the path that leads to sexual sin of any kind; but as I said at the beginning...I will continue to struggle against this wicked Titan.

Prayers for all of you willing to write in this forum.  Those who acknowledge their brokenness, and especially for those who deny it.

Michael
 

A:  Dear Michael,

This cross is a difficult one to bear.  Christ didn't make styrofoam crosses.  He made real ones, heavy ones, crosses that cause us to stumble and fall under their weight, just as He did.
First of all, as our Catholic Bishops have recently pointed out, someone who claims to be Catholic, yet rejects one or more of Catholicism's teachings, really isn't Catholic at all.  You recognize that she is not good for you.

Your first step to healing is to separate yourself from this girl, regardless of your feelings toward her.  Her disorder is feeding and triggering your disordered passions, passions that are already weakened and vulnerable.

With our own children as they enter adulthood, we have emphasized the need to pair up with good, faithful Catholic people whose morals and principles are as closely aligned to ours as possible.

We constantly emphasize that they need to marry faithful Catholics because married life is hard enough without bringing the conflicts and problems that disparate faith and moral backgrounds often introduce into a couple's marriage.

Our kids have even subscribed to Catholic on-line matchmaking sites such as AveMariaSingles.com.   Our daughter has been very pleased with the results!

Good partners are hard to find, but well worth the effort.

More important, they bolster one another through life's trials and struggles.  As man and woman become one in the sacrament of Matrimony, the two of them form one rock, one foundation upon which Christ becomes rooted, manifested in yet another domestic Church which is the family.  The one rock is stronger that the sum of the two separately, because Christ is the mortar that binds them together.

God Bless!

paul
for the Serenellians and www.PornNoMore.com