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Society has done quite a
number on us men, especially where it has ventured into the
realm of defining the characteristics and nature of
masculinity and manhood over the years. Social expectations
espoused by the media and our own friends, neighbors, work
places and communities teach that manhood is defined by
“things.”
I am not a “man” unless I possess at least some of the
following:
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Wheels
(the larger, gaudier and
more ostentatious the vehicle, the better)
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Earrings
(go figure…)
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Tattoos
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Clothes
(After all, these make the man, right?)
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Reputation
The party animal / History of sexual conquests – “scoring”
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The Body beautiful
In other words, modern society defines and measures manhood by
the metrics of appearance, possessions and lifestyle – what it
calls “the image.” Notice, however, that these things society
considers to be so important, are all external to our being.
When we die, we take none of these with us. In embracing this
definition of masculinity, we men of America have become, as
Dirty Harry would put it, “legends in our own minds.”
In essence, we have traded true, Godly manhood for a false and
cheap façade of manhood.
How else could we come to accept the unstated yet tacit notion
that “The earrings make the man.”
God help us all.
Men of America - What’s wrong
with this picture?
Over the brief period of the last half century, both men and
women have lost sight of what truly makes up the nature of
Godly men and Godly women. As such, it can be said that the
strength of men has truly failed. As a result of this gender
identity crisis, we see men wearing earrings and muscle-bound
women strutting their sinewy, rippling tattoos. It is no
wonder that kids are confused as to who is the daddy and who
is the mommy!?!
The Root Problem – The Failure
of Fatherhood
Based upon both observation and experience, one is compelled
to say that most, if not all of society’s ills can be traced
to the collapse and failure of true fatherhood in America.
The root cause can be summarized as the collective social
acceptance of the shirking of a man’s intrinsic
responsibilities as husband, father, worker, provider,
nurturer, protector and leader – beginning as the head of his
household.
By logical extension, the failure to properly and effectively
run one’s own household automatically disqualifies the same
individual from being able to properly and effectively perform
his job AND his service to Almighty God. As a social group,
men have become defective and deficient, lacking those
transcendental characteristics and graces that distinguish
real men from the pretenders.
The problem doesn’t stop there. Men, too, by embracing and
espousing this defect of latent irresponsibility, are
certainly incapable of being good corporate and community
leaders, caring and conscientious politicians or exemplary
champions of social justice and peace. In other words, by
choice, they no longer have what it takes.
Society’s problems – all of them – crime, abortion, poor
economy and a plethora of other ills can be traced to the
destruction of the family unit. Women are taught not to trust
men because they aren’t dependable. Sadly, for a great part,
this is true. We are not dependable. We used to be.
Likewise, notice that every trace of femininity and beauty
inherent to the ‘fairer sex’ has all but completely vanished
from women’s nature and identity.
Children are raised in daycare centers instead of at home
under mom’s love and nurturing. Why? Because mom has to work
and earn the living that dad is responsible for providing, yet
instead, he is out chasing skirts in an effort to satisfy his
animal cravings. In doing so he begets yet another family.
This new family, in turn, will experience its own pain and
terror of devastation as the pattern of paternal failure
succumbs to its addiction, feeding society’s maelstrom of
destruction of the family by sowing and reaping yet more
bitter fruit.
We seem to ignore the fact that no daycare center employee, no
matter how good and loving that individual is, can raise
children as well as the child’s own parents!
The failure of men to simply be the best husbands, fathers and
workers they can be, faithfully toughing it out day after day
by carrying the cross that God crafted for each of us, is
where America went wrong. Sadder still, we watched it happen
and did nothing.
This collapse did not happen accidentally. Satan knew all too
well that by attacking the family, by means of the strategy of
divide and conquer, he would possess the world. Well, the
world now rests firmly in his grasp.
You are probably wondering by now what this has to do with
sexual addiction.
The answer is, EVERYTHING!
If we, as men, fail to be the truly wholesome men that God
intended for us to be, then we inevitably end up seeking
personal growth in union, bonding, consolation, refuge and
sanctuary, not in a healthy way, at home and within our
families, but elsewhere - in the dark and sinister place that
our twisted and distorted minds have become. This false sense
of manhood perpetuates and encourages our lusts and disordered
passions!
Contending Like Men
This shirking of responsibilities must come to an end. It is
time we fought back.
Instead of turning our backs on God, we must turn them on
satan and recognize him for the deadly enemy that he is.
In short –
We must embrace the Cross!
Christ was the manliest and bravest of men – His willingness
to endure His totally selfless passion and death on behalf of
us unworthy sinners, testifies to this inescapable fact. Yet,
at the same time, He possessed none of those passing things
that modern society says He must in order to qualify for
manhood by today’s standards.
What is needed?
God gives us many an excellent example in Sacred Scripture of
what constitutes the behavior and characteristics of good and
proper, holy and complete men. For starters, none shine in
this role better than St. Joseph, spouse of our Blessed Mother
and foster father of the Savior of the world. St. Joseph is
our model man – loving husband, devoted father and faithful
worker.
He toughed it out through thick and thin – fiancée pregnant
out of wedlock (By who? How? Yeah, right.)
Yet he stood as the rock that he needed to be - head of the
Holy Family - through terrors, difficulties and trials of all
sort.
He personifies the real definition of what truly constitutes a
man by the kind of person he is, and not by the temporal and
transient things external to his spiritual nature and person.
Guys – it’s time to toss the earrings in the trash, trade in
the 4x4 (which only seats two) for a mini-van (which holds the
entire family), pick up your cross and follow in our Lord’s
and St. Joseph’s footsteps. The grip that satan has on your
lustful nature will loosen significantly as well. Our
spiritual destination, which is Heaven, is well worth the
journey along this narrow, arduous and albeit unpopular path.
In closing, consider this prayer for daily recitation –
Saint Joseph, head of the Holy
Family and earthly guardian of our Lord Jesus Christ, I pray,
through the power of your special intercession, for God to
grant me the strength, guidance, insight and discernment to
always be the best husband/wife, that I can be, the best
father/mother that I can be, the best worker that I can be and
the purest soul that I can be, so that all of my labors, all
of my thoughts, words and deeds ceaselessly give glory to the
Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This we ask in Jesus’ name.
Amen.
May God bless you on your
earthly and spiritual sojourns.
Paul Rasavage for PornNoMore.com
(June, 2003) |
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