Testimonials

True Life Stories of Ordinary People Struggling with Addiction

Practical Advice

From one who has been there...

What Truly Works

by Caring and Concerned Parents

One Wife's Anguish: An Open Letter from a Wife and Victim

by Trish

The Wife of a Pornography Addict - My Point of View

by TM

Where Have all the Real Men Gone?

by a Devastated Wife

Joe's Story - On the Road to Recovery

A Former Stripper's Testimonial

by Helga

- OTHER TESTIMONIALS -

Hi, I am Laith and I am 16 years old. I am from Bethlehem, the city in which Jesus was born, I want to first thank you for the great website which truly is helping me. Here in our country watching porn is something very common and it is known that watching porn and masturbating is not a sin, but because of your website I now make sure that it is a sin and that I am going to stop it, I tried to stop my addiction many times but I would convince my self that it is not a sin. I have been since a not so long interested more to know about my religious, about god, about how Jesus lived his life on earth, so I started reading the bible, and I am trying very hard to stop doing some of the bad things I was doing before, such as bullying and other things, I have a request that i would truly be thankful if you replied to me about, I would like to ask you to tell me some of the things which are wrong and common in the world and that we do in our daily life, such as porn and other things, I want to seek for Jesus, and I want to do this through my everyday life and work just like Jesus taught us to represent him in our lives. I would be grateful if you replied as soon as possible thanks again for the website and I want to thank god for letting me know you. - Laith

Dear Serenellians: I formerly send to you a prayer request in which I asked you for help in order to live Christian chastity in the way that a single person like me should. My request was sent on June 24 2007. Today I feel much better and I feel I no longer need porn and masturbation. In the case I fell again I am ready to get up and start again. I thank the Serenellians for their prayer. I am convinced that your organization is God's will. I remain faithfully yours. Let God bless you. Let God fulfill all your prayer requests. Roberto

Dear Paul: thank you so much for your long email and all of the information you have provided. I have taken note of everything and written it all down. I have discussed this with a priest and will continue to seek the help we need through our Church as a family. In addition, I just completed a novena to St. Maria Goretti - which was very powerful - this precious little Saint is most certainly interceding for us. For 20 years now I am a daily communicant, make frequent visits to the Blessed Sacrament and pray the Rosary and I believe my sons will be set free from all this evil. It is comforting to know we can count on your prayers to, and please be assured of ours. May God bless you and protect you in this great work he has given you to do at this time. Jesus, Mary and Joseph be with us on our way. Nina.

I have discovered your website, which is wonderful. Now, I have one more reason to continue fighting against temptations, in order to help you through the Communion of Saints. I had addiction to porn during 2 years, but thanks God, I got through 4 years ago. Let me tell you what helps me: to ask the Lord and our Lady to give me the virtue of purity; to go frequently to Confession and receive the Holy Communion; to consider all the sufferings of our lovely and merciful Christ for our sins (the film “The Passion of the Christ” helped me a lot); to offer some small sacrifices to Him everyday, for my family and friends, the Pope...; and to try to have presence of God during the day, looking for Him present in my soul. Please, pray for me and my family, so we are faithful to our Lord and the Church. God bless you. – Henry

Hello, I want to thank you for your efforts to help people overcome pornography, and join you in that effort. I am a 51 year old returning Catholic who has struggled with alcohol addiction and pornography throughout my adult life. It has caused untold pain and misery, including separation from God’s Grace, failure to develop lasting relationships or have a family. I am sober over a year and half, and have been practicing celibacy for the last month or so. Today, I am still hopeful that I can be restored through the Grace of God, the 12 Step Program of AA, and groups such as yours. Please include me in your prayers, and add my e-mail to your list. God Bless You, Richard

Hello there, my name is Francis. Pornography has become so common is this world today. Millions of young people are addicted to this sin of lust. I'm a catholic. I was addicted to sin too. Aft a session of porn watching, which leads to masturbation, I would feel so guilty.. I feel as though my soul is being torn apart. By the grace of Jesus, I went for confession and felt a great peace within me. I told God I will never see such disgusting things again in my life. However, maybe a week or 2 later, I would end up watching porn again. For many years I was in this state. But Jesus never forgot about me. He pour out great mercy upon me, when I went for confessions.. Now I'm 20 years old, and changes have happened in my life. I want to say to all the people out there who are addicted to this sin, that u r not alone. Millions of people are addicted as well.. For Catholics, do go for confession aft watching pornography, and allow Jesus to pour out his mercy. For those who ask, he will grant it. Stay strong, and know that there are people praying for u.. The devil is powerful. He can destroy our lives through these sins.. But victory and empire have already been won by Jesus. Every knee will bow to Jesus, including the devil. Devil is strong, but compared to god, he is nothing. I will be praying for u people out there.. Also these amazing web-side, PornNoMore thank u so much for your efforts in creating this web-side, many people will see that they are truly not alone, and there are people who loves and care for them. Jesus loves u too...

Thank you sir for your website. I'd been a long time addict of pornography and it started at a young age .Your website and apostolate have been a wonderful blessing from God. I came to the point of nearly losing a wonderful daughter of God and even my sanity because of my overwhelming addiction. Your openness to what God is calling you to do has guided many young men to the loving arms of Christ. I will start and continue to pray for you and this ministry and ask that you do the same for me.

In Christ and Mary, Travis

Hello , not sure if my testimonial will appear on your site because it is from someone who has been "on the other side" of the porn (sorry for my poor English) As someone as already said also the porn business is not victim less. I have been a "performer" and I know what I'm saying. I've been a performer for some time because I was in great need of money and I wasn't able to find a job, so when a man offered me an "easy way to get money" I accepted thinking it was great to find such a "good" and "Pleasurable" work even if it wasn't paid very well. But I was just a fool! I'm almost sure that every men who like porn would be disgusted by it if they only could see how it's done...! I was a performer for a particular kind of movies, for people who were attracted by very old ladies. It was me plus four very old ladies.
It was such a miserable situation. We were treated just like animals and nothing more. The ladies were just like me in great need of money; they were ashamed of what they were doing just like me. Not only women are treated bad also men. For men is not as easy as it is for women and I've been forced to take a little "drug help" in order to be able to perform and it wasn't very good for my health.
Now when I see a porn movie I just get sick.
All the best from Michele

I just want to thank you for your web site. The articles you have posted are strong medicine for my soul and a powerful weapon against addiction to pornography. I especially want to thank Helga and Trish for there letters. They cut me to the heart. I am deeply sorry for participating anything that would bring women so much pain. I bought into the lies that the porn industry is selling. I know better now, thanks to these two women who had the courage to tell their story.

May God bless them both.

Your brother in Christ, Pete

I am presently in another state accompanying my husband while he is in a sexual addiction treatment center. On Sunday, while visiting a Catholic Chapel in Sedona, AZ the Bible was turned to the Book of Hosea. The covenant between God and Man and represented in the covenant between man and wife. Monday began day one of my husband's treatment. This is the second intensive in as many months. I was a Catholic in my youth. Father Fulton Sheen played a very personal part in my teenage years up until the time of his death. While searching and seeking Bible information and Spiritual warfare facts via various web sites (spiritdaily and pornnomore) I was able to tap into an old sermon that Father Sheen gave on the diabolic over 30 years ago. Upon reading your site I am beginning to grown in the appreciation and maturity of Christ and the role of the Church after so very long. I am requesting prayer for additional angels to help in this spiritual battle of my husband's salvation and our marriage.

I stand in absolute FAITH that the Good Lord has purpose in every ounce of trepidation and tribulation that we are facing during this battle of releasing the stronghold and claiming recovery. I accept every moment of prayer and conversation that leaves anyone's lips and places into the ears of Heaven to strengthen the flesh of those here on earth who are in the midst of such trials. Thank you my dear Lord for bringing such Goodness and Light into an area of darkness that has shamed and hidden for far too long the tentacles the enemy had on so many folks. Please continue to Light our path for all addicts of the world -- those in recovery, those who are relapsing and those who are yet to find the hope. In Your Grace and Mercy will restoration, reconciliation, humility and forgiveness avail. Amen, Your loving daughter, Glory

Dear Paul:

I wish to thank you and particularly Rosemarie Scott for this book. I received my copy Thursday when I was undergoing a strong weakness. This book is tremendous. I have been addicted to porn for 19 years and have tried many times to break free. I usually go to daily Mass when in the state of grace. But someone like me needs a total and complete plan that you take up each day. I was addicted to cigarettes for many years until I went into a program similar to this (but without the spiritually) and by following their daily steps and reporting back each week it helped me overcome smoking. I finally got the courage to admit my addiction to my wife who is understanding and supportive. Jesus and Our Blessed Mother will thank you and grace you for this ministry. I will remember you in my prayers and Rosemarie also.

God continue to bless both of you. George.

Dear friends in Christ,

I thank our Lord for His patience and mercy!

I have been meditating the beautiful book Clean of
Heart by Rosemarie Scott. Unfortunately, I had to
return to the beginning of the book several times,
since I was not able to remain completely chaste
throughout the reading of the whole book. But now I
have an accountability friend for whom I write a diary
on my progress. He is a member of Opus Dei and he
prays for me. I believe that this is the definitive
break from my addiction. Praise the Lord!

I know I need to be very careful: I fear every evil
from my weakness but I hope every good from Christ's
power.

There is hope, dear friends, even after decades, do
not be afraid, never, never, never give up!

Paul J.

Blessings and peace to all.

I am a man whose family owned porno shops. I grew up sneaking a look at their porno they had in their room and became very addicted to it for about 17 years or so. I was completely captivated by women and would masturbate several times a day many weeks. While I was thrilled by women I was also afraid of them for I had very little self confidence. At the time porno seemed like my comfort, my absolute pleasure. It was a hellish escape for the Devil is the Father of Lies. I had no idea what I was opening myself up to and am still dealing with the effects to this day.

I have since converted to Catholicism and am now answering the call to be a priest. I am at times still haunted by images of a pornographic nature and sometimes have perverse thoughts which bring on some amounts of shame. I have not looked at porno for about 2 or 3 years and have not masturbated for about that long too. I have abstained from sex for 12 years or so by the grace of God! I am much better ( thanks be to God) then I was but I want to be completely healed and delivered from this evil. Some call pornography adult material, but a healthy adult has confidence and respect for his or her sexuality and for God's creation.

Praise God for you and your ministry and may our Lord's healing hand be on those who sincerely seek His truth and Spirit.

In Christ and through Mary, amen.

Frank

Hey guys, in Christ, I found your web site, as I was checking my web site ( www.fatherpaul.org) and found a number of souls visited me from a link on your web site. What a great web site you guys have! God bless you.

As a priest and confessor, I can use your web site to recommend many afflicted souls who struggle to free themselves from this vice, that of compulsive viewing of pornography.

I think it’s more than an addiction: it’s a vice. Any vice can be described as an addiction, but the term “addiction” doesn’t reach the core and essence of the problem. A “vice” is a habit, therefore a second nature; by the repetition of acts, one makes it natural to do one thing or another. If the thing in question is evil, it becomes “natural,” in a sense, to do it. The victim in this case breathes by nature, digests by nature, and views pornography by nature. Yet the first two things in this example are different from the third, as the first two things spring from what he is (a human person), and the last spring from what he does. The good news is that, by the repetition of good acts, one can create “virtue” within himself.

Again and again, with perseverance, the soul who loves what’s good will do what’s right. And this is true freedom!

Oh, that through your work many souls may find the freedom of being a son of God! Keep up the good work in helping others attain salvation and avoid condemnation, and count on my humble prayers for your worthy endeavor.

In Christ, Fr. Paul Ward

I have to tell you, your site is just what the Internet needs. I have never attended church unless it was mandatory, and never prayed before this year. Because I never felt I was being watched by God. I have sinned before God, and looked at sinful things on the internet, and I realised that just because something is legal in the eyes of the law doesn't make it right in the eyes of God. When I have prayed to God, I ask for forgiveness for the sins that I have committed and pray for those who are on these site. Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday, I wish to use the rest of my life to become better, to become a better Christian, to be better to other people.

God Bless your Site, Believer

Remember that you are working for the Kingdom of God which has limitless resources compared to the kingdom of Hell. What you are doing is so important for Jesus! Keep fighting the good fight Paul.
Peace of Yeshwa (Jesus),
John Gelo

I hope this will help.... I came to a point by God's grace that I recognized I was not myself and I was not. A darkness had taken over me. I am speaking of a real possession of the soul (not obvious to most). Only after years of emptiness and marriage was in trouble. I started to pray the rosary. The rosary is a powerful prayer. It is through the rosary that the Virgin Mary freed my from my addiction. This along with a weekly Holy Hour before our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament. Also frequent confession and daily mass as often as possible. I have not fallen back into this sin, going on five years. This I most adamantly admit is not by my own doing, but only by the grace of God, His love and His mercy. BLESSED beyond human knowledge, I am. Do not lose hope, do not despair. I will pray for you in my weekly Holy Hour and daily rosary.

Deborah

I'm a non-practising Catholic who has masturbated for many years with a tremendous amount of guilt. Two weeks ago my fiancé lost her engagement ring and that event made me examine my life. I realised I believed in God and wanted to return to my Catholic faith. On the other hand I realised having pre-marital sex and masturbation were wrong. I decided two
weeks ago to stop masturbating and tell my fiancé I wanted to go back to my Catholic faith and stop having sex with her. The upshot is she has agreed to be baptised as a Catholic and wait to have sex when we are married. Please pray for me that I can overcome the sin in my life, make a good confession and lead a holy life. This is not going to be easy but ultimately I either believe in God or I don't - as my previous life style up until now has demonstrated.

Yours Faithfully
Sean

Dear Paul: As a Catholic, your web site has helped me tremendously in my continuing battle with Porn and Masturbation. I was especially touched by the testimonials from the wives of porn addicts. I didn't realize how badly they were affected, but I guess that's the nature of addiction, one can't see outside of one's self. I have been struggling with Porn and Masturbation since 12 years of age. Alcoholism (Dad) and Depression (Dad and Mom) at home on the farm often kept me alone and isolated. My brother came home one day with a porn magazine, showed it to me, and I immediately fell in love with the women on those pages. Can you imagine? Falling in love with two dimensional representations of women? Sadly, I was too lonely, and starving for attention. That was the root of my addiction: loneliness, neglect, abandonment, feeling forgotten and not loved. The porn offered pictures of women that not only smiled and made eye-contact but appeared to want you...all of you. I'm 43 now, and looking back at all the time and energy that went into viewing Porn and Masturbating I just want to cry in shame and regret. Nevertheless, by God's Grace and Love I have actually completed a University education, held down a job, and have a loving family. I want to spend the next 30 years taking care of the Gifts God has given me. I need your prayers for me and my family, and I promise to pray for all of us with this affliction. I Cannot say enough about your site. God Bless All of Us. JH

Hi Paul, Your website is great, and a resource I've been looking for. Please add me to your membership as I struggle with some of what this site is designed to combat. I found many sections of the site so accurate and applicable to me, especially how pornography corrupts children. I still harbour a bit of anger toward my father as I remember finding his pornographic magazines at a very young age. I've struggled ever since and try to go to Confession often, but sometimes I wonder what the point is if I just keep committing the same sin. I feel ashamed and guilty, but somehow, I don't feel sorry, which makes me feel even more guilty and upset. I hope this site is the beginning of the end and a vessel of forgiveness for my father. I worry a great deal about his eternal salvation as well as mine. Thanks Paul, your work is of infinite value in today's evil age. Ian

Paul, It is and always will be a struggle, help comes from unlikely places, I purchased a rosary from an Optometrists shop, as the married couple that ran it kept a few rosaries for sale in the display case with all the eyeglasses. It is always the small things which can change one's heart. Stephen Durnan

I have been through a light therapy with a consecrated person the last 8 months... and it worked! I was actually freed from very old burdens... A new life started...

Soon after I started to date a girl from my prayer group... and we're now engaged! We do believe this is a grace of JP2, just before he met Jesus in Heaven...

We talked together about impurity, and it appeared she too had some struggles in her past. We're OK to fight together for purity. Blessed be the Lord!

I think sometimes the bounds to porn/impurity can appear very strong, but they are not so strong. We just need HELP, and accept to be helped and cured. It can come from something that happened in childhood, or whatever... I also realize that guiltiness can be a strong tool for the demon to keep us in impurity. The day I realized this was NOT all my fault, I quitted porn and all the rest...

You can post this on the web site... I want people to know that freedom is possible. Psychological help can be really helpful, IF dispensed by a prayerful person, faithful to the Church's teaching. That's my little testimony!

Thank you again for dedicating to this fight. It is as important as pro-life ministry.

God bless you and all the Serenellians.

Your brother in Christ,

Pierre

I've found a great hope as I've browsed your website and used it as a window into the world of individuals struggling with masturbation and other self-destructive habits. Especially inspiring are the ways in which others indirectly affected by these practices come together to
pray over their loved ones. As an individual struggling with masturbation and pornography on and off for over five years, it's very important for me to both know that God surpasses all love and knowledge, and that my actions will have a "huge" impact on those closest to me in the future.

Please pray that I continue to rely on God in this battle, and that I more fully embrace the recovering community in understanding the consequences fully and having hope in times of despair.

On a personal note, thank you so much for this website and for caring for people like me! Truly a Godsend. Yours in Christ,

Jon

I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school through eighth grade. I enjoyed the simple true faith of a child and was sure God wanted me to be a priest when I grew up. For reasons blurred by time and heart break, I threw away my faith and did my best to fit into the scary world outside. I started taking drugs, drinking, and living loose. I was always fascinated with pornography and loved drinking at strip bars when I got older. I went pretty far down the road of booze and drugs and ended up institutionalized more than a few times. When my additions of drugs and alcohol threatened my freedom too much I could always find enough stubbornness to stop and get my life organized enough to get by. But I never even wanted to quit my love affair with pornography. This was in the 1970's and pornography began to be more available. I could see no reason to ever stop. I liked the fantasy life of porn much better than trying to figure out how to have a real relationship with a woman. I got all my love through my eyes. Then the internet happened. My addiction got absolutely out of control and I was helpless to stop. I would spend several hours at a time feeding my addiction and then would crave more. I tried to "overdose" on internet porn to finally disgust myself so maybe I could stop but of course that did not work. Then this year (2005) just before Lent, I was led to pray the rosary and to confess my addiction to a priest. A true miracle happened. My craving for porn was lifted from me. Completely gone. I was so grateful that I re-dedicated myself to the Lord and I am convinced that as long as I stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary by praying the rosary every day and receive Communion with a grateful heart, I need never again suffer the agony of pornography. - Grateful Slave BVM

My history with inappropriate sex goes back fifty three years. It is a bondage that has been with me a lifetime. It led me through incest with a sister, pornography and masturbation at age eleven, large print and video porn collections, three marriage/divorce disasters, visiting prostitutes, nude bars, massage parlors, and dabbling in the occult, premarital and extramarital sex, various forms of sexual abusive behaviors like voyeurism, two abortions by a second wife that died from the lifestyle we lived, one child conceived out of wedlock, and in my old age Internet porn addiction and masturbation. I have been masturbating over fifty three years. I am making a final attempt to rid myself of the demons that have been here a lifetime. I converted to Catholicism in 1990. - Please pray for me. - Ron

Dear Paul,

I want to thank you for your ministry. It's been about a month since I stumbled across your web-site ( actually, I deeply believe that the Holy Spirit suggested a stop there) and after realizing how deeply I was falling into sin through porn and masturbation, immediately got rid of all porn, scanned and removed all of it from the deep corners of my computers memory, and then made an act of contrition, and celebrated the sacrament of reconciliation. I feel wonderful, but not comfortable. What I find remarkable and grace-filled is that my desire for these things has vanished. I always thought those instant conversions/turnarounds were only for people in scripture who got knocked off their horses. What truly helped me was the article "Pornography and the Demonic" on your web-site.

As a result of "meeting" Asmodeus through the article - I now have put a "face" and NAME to a powerful force that is trying to ruin my soul and my marriage. I loath him, and I have no problem telling him to "go to hell" when I start feeling guilty over my confessed sins and my past.

The story of Tobit rings true with me, and Archangel Raphael has been enlisted in my battle. I pray a few rosaries & the Divine Mercy chaplet each day and a church has adoration of the Blessed Sacrament on Mondays, so I go and visit on the way home from work on Monday afternoon - all these things have helped me tremendously.

Thanks again, may the Lord continue to bless you, Mike

I'm a 15 year old Traditional Catholic teenager and would like to become a member of the Serenellians. When I was about 9, I happened upon some impure junk on the internet - I don't know if it was porn, since I don't know what porn is - and unfortunately became addicted to it. I was terrified of confessing it, but finally did. It's been haunting me since then, but last year, I found a wonderful spiritual director - a priest - who has helped me with my severe temptations against chastity and has also saved me several times from despair

E. C. H.

A priest I confessed to, told me about your website and your community.

I'm 30, single and I hope to found a family one day. But I have a few things to heal before I can give myself entirely to a woman... I guess I can say I am addicted to on-line porn... for many years now. It doesn't happen to me every day but quite often. You seem to know about that kind of sin.

In my case, I don't miss anything: good job, loving family and friends. But I've been caught one day, when I was a teen. I stopped everything when I converted at age 18. But it came back 7 years later, at age 25 (when I started surfing, actually)... And I'm still in it. Tonight, I was about to think I was over the "red line" now, and that I could never come back to purity...

Thinking that the main problem of porn on the Internet is loneliness and disconnection from real life, I've been thinking about a kind of on-line community (in French), that could help people like me staying united in prayer, to help one each other. Thinking that others are fighting the same fight and are praying for you, that can help.

I realize today that this community does exist! Thank God for your website, for what you are and for what you do!

Please send me any news letters you have, any intention of prayer. I give you mine: that God may help me to be faithful to the numerous graces He gave me, and help me to re-discover the importance of WILL in this fight.

I already pray for all the members of the community, as brethren. Especially for those wives and children who suffer because of a beloved' addiction.

Fraternally,

Jacques, from France

To Paul and the Serenellians,
with the help of your website I beat a porn addiction that lasted over a decade. I've never felt closer to God and better about myself. You helped me to realize that porn provides pleasure that is temporary and shallow, but being closer to God provides happiness that is deep, solid, and everlasting. Beating my addiction is the best thing that ever happened to me, and it happened with the assistance of you and the Serenellians. Thank you so, so much, for helping me be closer to God and making me feel true happiness closer to the Lord. I will pray for you and your wonderful cause. All the best!

-REP

"We live in a world of transgressions and selfishness... though happily for human nature, gleamings of that pure Spirit in whose likeness man has been fashioned are to be seen, relieving its deformities, and mitigating, if not excusing, its crimes." ~James Fenimore Cooper

I think my biggest mistake up until last week has been not treating this as an addiction, like my alcoholism. I'd always seen it as a character issue, that putting it one the same level as my alcohol addiction simply was an excuse. The first thing I had to do with alcohol was admit I was powerless and surrender. The porn compulsion was something I was convinced I'd have to fight. And I was going to WIN!

I've taken my first step. I can't beat my addiction to porn on its terms. Like alcohol, I have to surrender to it. If I try to fight it, I'm going to lose just like I lost when I used to try to control my drinking years ago. I've simply substituted one addiction for the other.

So, I've talked with my wife, laid it out on the line. Surprise...she was not surprised. She's known all along (as wives do) and consoled herself with "well, at least he's not drinking!" There's a lot of broken trust and hurt, but the love between us is still there and still binds us. I think we alcoholics/addicts are blessed with the most patient spouses and families. We're going to work together on this thing. Blocks for the computer and the TV, plus accountability software (have you had success with this?) Lots more communication. Lots more time together as a family.

I've also contacted my old sponsor from AA who was great about this whole thing, aside from the gentle ribbing I got for not calling for awhile. Suggested I get some online contacts, since SA groups are scarce out here. Told him about the Serenellians and Dads.org. He suggested online meetings, so I'm looking into that as well. Any suggestions?

I've been to Confession, and this is the first time in forever I've felt clean after. Perhaps I just knew before that I just wasn't willing to change my ways, to avoid the near occasion of sin. Also been praying Compline at night after my family is sleeping - my "lion's den" time. It relaxes my mind, and eases me out of the day.

In short, as far as porn goes...I'm done. At least for today.

In Christ,

- Tom

Alcoholic in recovery since 8/30/2001 (last drink)

Porn addict in recovery since 5/24/2004 (last viewing of porn)

Even when I was a little boy, I was drawn to pornography. I could occasionally find magazines in the alley behind a neighbor's house. In January of my sophomore year of high school I convinced a schoolmate to get me three brand-new magazines of my own. From then through May of 2004, there wasn't any month free of pornography. From the relatively tame still pictures of magazines, I progressed to videos, strip clubs and even prostitution.

I had been raised in a Christian, albeit protestant, home and I knew I was doing things that were seriously wrong. I rationalized that, if the thought is as bad as the action (a common protestant misconception), then I might as well act out so I wouldn't think about acting out so much. In the late 1980s I started living with a lapsed Catholic woman whom I would eventually marry and to whom I am still married. By 1994, though, I had pretty much quit any participation in religion so as not to interfere with my porn habit. I was going to arcades at least four times a week and getting net porn every chance I had. I focused all my energies on those "victimless" activities so as not to patronize whores.

I had a near-death experience in 1996 that got me going to church again. After about a year the incongruence of my church-going and my habit, I started trying to control my habit. I had a degree of success at cutting back on arcade visits. In 1999 we moved to a city that didn't have arcades, but did have strip clubs that allowed pretty much unlimited physical contact. By that time, due to my habit and other reasons, conjugal life was non-existent. My habit shifted from frequent arcade visits to less frequent strip club visits.

In 2000, my mother-in-law passed away. Her final illness awakened my wife's faith. The funeral, small and simple as it was, convinced me to look into the Catholic Church for myself. I was received into the Church at the Easter Vigil in 2001. I only slipped a couple of times in
the first few months. Then came a series of ups and downs. I got much worse after 9/11, but better during Lent of 2002.

In early November of 2003, I had a moment where I recognized how disgusting and depraved the prostitution part of the habit was. I resolved to do everything I could to avoid whoring again. I started going to the same priest for confession every time, as I had bounced around between priests so that no one priest would know the whole story. I knew I would have to avoid porn and masturbation too, so I started to regularly pray in the times and places where I had been most susceptible to acting out. In the following months, I acted out much less (3 or 4 times a month). On April 21 I masturbated at home and later went to a peep show. I t was the first day that I had acted out in 27 days I had the same experience I had back in November. The next day when I confessed, my confessor referred me here.

Since then, with a great deal of prayer, I've been able to avoid acting out. I thank God for that, knowing that left to my own devices, I'd be in the gutter again. Thank you for the help you give here and know that, by letting me pray for you, you're helping me. - Lawrence G.

I just wanted to write to you about my husband's problem with porn. After getting into your web, I found out there are so many who are addicted to this kind of things. After I prayed and finally had a talk with my husband , he finally said yes we will throw all the movies away. It has been about 2 months already he didn't desire any of that anymore. I just wanted to thank God and I prayed for all those who are addicted can have the same freedom as we do now. Praise God. - LT

Dear Mr. Paul and staff at the website,

Thank you and thank the Lord for giving you all the grace to pick up on what has become a real trial for so many of us. I am struggling with an addiction to internet porn and masturbation and by the grace of God I have become totally disgusted with this bondage in which I find myself and from which I am helpless to get myself out.

I just want to say how much I appreciate your website and to request if you think it might be appropriate that you include some useful practical advice that might help us sufferers to flee this terrible terrible sin.

For example, as I was going through the site it came to me that I could paste a sort of poster on my office door, so that each time I stand up to lock the door to engage in the sin, I would see the poster and hopefully, by God's grace be deterred. So I have pasted "By the Almighty name of Jesus, get thee behind me satan!".

I also found some years ago that when I whisper (actually silently shouting) in my mind when I'm in bed the Holy Name of "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!", the urge usually passes and I get a sound sleep.

I have realised too that since I love reading myself to sleep, my choice of literature will condition what I do and think in the darkness of my room. I am an enthusiastic reader of Romance Fiction but now I realise that much of it is soft porn, so I am trying to give it up.

So these are some practical things I think that many of us would like to hear about and share to help us firm our resolve to allow the Lord to save us from this sin.

I also read the article on the Corporate profiteers and wondered what type of letter one could send to express disagreement with their policies. I was recently in a hotel in Johannesburg and there were two pay for view adult channels. It has now occurred to me that I could write the management and say how much I enjoyed my stay except for that service that even children could access. So do you have any ready made letter models that one could use?

May our Lord continue to bless and guide you all. Sorry for being so verbose but I guess I have been seeking a place to talk about this. One is even afraid of corrupting the priest to raise it in confession. And it is so so embarrassing to have to go to confession over the same old thing again and again...Lord help us please.

Thank you very much,

- Kemi

Thank You. A few months ago I came across this website and it has changed me. I've used the rosary and the prayers and chaplet to St. Margaret of Cortona. Margaret's story gave me hope, faith, and devotion; but, most of all, the fear of the loss of heaven and pains of Hell. I live my life in prayer and attend Sunday Mass and Confession. I love you Lord, thank you for your blessings.

- Sergio

I thank the Lord for all the healing I have received . I was exposed to pornography when I was young. I am now finally free from this addiction which nearly destroyed me spiritually. I now recognize when It first became manifested. I was sexually abused at the age of 11 yrs old . I am finally free thanks by the Grace of God.

- Francesca

Praise God,

On the Feast of the Transfiguration and one day after our Blessed Mother's
birthday (revealed at Medjugorje in 1984-her 2000 B-day), I am led to you. Thank you Lord--I was for the first time in so long really praying from my heart with a resolution that I have not had in years to finally walk away from the computer and pornography--and through Peters Net,
I find your site--thank you Holy Spirit. Please start praying for me as I will start praying for all others addicted to this--I have NO control. I have to be on this computer for business and yet to push the wrong button is so easy. I get lazy, tired and worst of all bored and then its so easy to
listen to satan. Thank you for the courage to start this ministry. I feel like you are God sent!
- John

Dear Friend,
How good it is to see your site, a link I found on the Divine Mercy web page. I've seen similar pages from a Protestant perspective, but always something is missing (the saints! the sacraments!). I am encouraged by what I see here, and pray that God will bless you and this most needed endeavor.
Kindly add me to the Serenellians.
- Chris

Please include me as a member. Have had a long struggle with this problem but can now say I am free; it took awhile for me to understand I had a problem. And then maybe about 15 years of hard work attaining freedom; over that period I gradually became stronger through prayer and groups; my wife left me about 9 years ago strangely after I was about 4 years into complete recovery. This factor caused me a relapse but I found a good group and have 6 years of complete freedom; I guess I could say much more but I commend you on this project and will do my best to join my efforts to yours to combat this blight.
- Art

We need these initiatives.

I pray for the success.

Kind regards from Spain.

- Martinez

Thank you for your prayers. My story began with porn and continued until I acted out with prostitutes over a year. I finally went back to Sexaholics Anonymous and am in counseling. My wife is wounded deeply and I am unsure the marriage can be fixed pray for both of us. Get the message out about porn for many of us porn becomes a vehicle to worse forms of acting out like Marijuana use is for many folk who become caught up with harder drugs. I know in my case it my addiction became worse with my discovery of internet porn. Your website is wonderful.

- Jan

I love the ministry you have undertaken. Many believe that porn is a victimless, "seedy" thing that really harms no one. I have read that many of the "performers" in porn are either underage or else strongly manipulated by the porn establishment, similar to the relationship between a pimp and a prostitute. It is a shame that more people don't know the truth.

- Dave