Dear Paul,

I am glad someone is trying to address this issue from a Catholic perspective. Thank you for your work. But, I must say, it seems an awful lot is being put on the shoulders of innocent wives. It is unbelievable that the men are being allowed to cop out behind the ever popular excuse of having an addiction  (there is no true withdrawal, only a strong desire), and we are suppose to mount to the heroics of St. Monica. My husband has had a problem our entire marriage. I didn't know what it was, but everywhere we went he would breath heavy and look lustfully at everyone under 18 in sight. With the belief in our culture that it is ok to look and not touch, no one I confided in understood what I was seeing. As for needing more hard core images, I think he's way past that. He looks at girls that way, especially if they look very innocent and are dressed modestly. His selfishness caused me many years of deep depression and self doubt. He was always mean to me after being intimate and never cared about my needs.  Although around other people he acts like he is so wonderful. I think all sin is an addiction. Christ says those who sin are slaves to sin. This is no different. Calling it an addiction seems to take the blame off the sinner. He chose this addiction or slavery because he likes it. He now downloaded a program to hide web pages from me behind innocent looking ones. Wow he looks at major league baseball a lot now! He went to a lot of trouble to keep this so called addiction. I tried for 10 years to get through this when I found out why he treated me so badly. I have gone without any satisfying intimacy for 20 years while he pleased himself daily. I believe this is habitual adultery. The Church does allow separation for habitual adultery from what I have read. Also, I can bet these men do not have anymore desire than the women (their wives) they use and satisfy themselves with (when they feel they have to make a showing) and leave her without any satisfaction. Some of these men should try stopping right before they are satisfied for 20 years. It is very hurtful and devastating. Most of them probably are unable to be the men they are suppose to be to their wives. We are used, and they are considered "addicted" just because we have more self control and try to love God as He commanded. I am really hurting and am tired of being used. He got to the point where he was kissing at the air when 2 people on TV started kissing. I got rid of cable after that. I do pray to St. Monica, but I know I am not as heroic as she is. I am just human, but at least I try to be moral. Why is so much more expected of wives when men are given so much support for being perverted. Maybe these men should be told to act like real men instead of being coddled. They are suppose to be the leaders of the home. They are suppose to have integrity. Where have all the real men gone?

God Bless, I will pray for your work,

Devastated in Florida